Do These Flowers Come In Black?
by DeathByDarkness13
Summary: In which Ulquiorra goes grocery shopping. "Do these flowers come in black?" He asked the employee seriously. UlquiHime.


Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, I would make Hueco Mundo fillers illegal. It's ridonkulous!

A/N: Another Bleach fic! So, I'm really sick right now with strep throat, and thought hey, let's publish something. I adore UlquiHime, their relationship is so beautiful I think this pairing might be in my top 5. Surprising, isn't it, coming from a yaoi freak. ;) But yeah, I wanted to write something for them. Hopefully this turned out alright, considering it's only my second time writing in the Bleach fandom. I should also warn you that there are minor hints of IchiRuki and HitsuKarin.

Review and I'll feel better in my bedridden predicament. (Guilt trip: SUCCESS!)

* * *

**Do These Flowers Come In Black?**

_"Pure love produces pure nonsense."_

_-Jonathan Klinger_

-oOo-oOo-oOo-

Ulquiorra stared at the grocery list in his pale hand with a sense of foreboding, his emerald eyes widening with each unknown item.

_Chocolate-chip cookies_

_Kraft Dinner_

_Orange juice_

_Hot dogs_

His ink-black eyebrows pulled together in confusion as he read it over again. Questions plagued his ever-calculating mind, as he stared emotionlessly at Orihime's girly handwriting.

_What is a 'cookie'?_

_Humans eat dogs?_

He closed his eyes with a deflated sigh. Humans were strange creatures.

The former Espada couldn't help but think that it had been a foolish decision on Orihime's part to entrust him with buying the groceries. He had only begun living in Karakura town two weeks ago, and still didn't understand much about human life. But she had asked him to, and so he did it anyway.

_I hope she wasn't actually expecting me to get the right items._

Opening his eyes slowly, just wanting to get the tedious task over with, he headed for a random aisle out of the many in the ridiculously large Loblaws. Shoving his hands securely into the pockets of his faded blue skinny jeans, he began the long and treacherous journey known as grocery shopping.

Ulquiorra scanned every label of every object in the nameless aisle at a leisurely pace, not spotting anything that was mentioned on the list. It didn't help that he had no idea what he was looking for.

"Excuse me, sir," Ulquiorra approached a middle-aged man with a thick red beard who looked up at him in surprise. "Could you please explain to me what a cookie is?" The man stared at him incredulously for a long moment, as if Ulquiorra was some kind of being from another world.

Heh, he was.

"Uh, it's a sweet, round dessert type of thing." The man scratched the back of his black Iron Maiden cap, struggling with how to describe a cookie to Ulquiorra. "What kind are ya lookin' for?" Ulquiorra held out his shopping list for the man to see.

"Chocolate-chip," he replied emotionlessly.

"Oh, you can find those in the next aisle over! It should say so on the package!"

"Thank you," Ulquiorra told him gratefully before the man scampered off to buy beer. He tucked his hands back into his pockets, and quickly found the chocolate-chip cookies in the next aisle. He nodded with satisfaction, checking it off on his list, and picked up a nearby green grocery basket to place the package in. The former fourth Espada then began his search for Kraft Dinner.

But it was to no avail.

There was nobody around to ask for help this time, and none of the packages claimed to hold what he was looking for.

Ulquiorra sighed exhaustedly, closing his eyes again as he ran a hand through his shoulder-length, tousled midnight locks. He then opened his eyes wide and stared at his hand, still unused to being without his Arrancar mask. That mask had been a part of him for centuries, but now it was gone. Just like his hollow hole.

He placed the hand gently over his collar bone where he used to be hollow, and could feel the faint thump of his heartbeat. He still had a hard time comprehending everything that had happened to lead him to join the world of the living.

Orihime's face suddenly filled his mind, and it caused his heart to swell and beat a little bit faster. Ulquiorra furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"That woman…"

_Why does it do that every time I so much as think of her?_

Sighing again, he forced himself to focus back to grocery shopping. He decided to screw the Kraft Dinner for now, and move on to the next item on the list: orange juice. His lips twitched up a little at the corners in the slightest of smirks, and he headed for the section near the back of the store containing all of the liquids. He knew what the colour orange was, and he knew that juice was a form of liquid. That sparked some confidence in the Arrancar.

He spotted a fridge stacked with different coloured drinks, and opened it to reach the orange ones. They were only big enough for one person, so Ulquiorra grabbed two and added it to the basket, ignoring the label.

It was orange, and it was juice.

Mission accomplished.

The next item listed was 'hot dogs'. Ulquiorra sweat-dropped. How would he find a dog in a grocery store? And he still had yet to find that so-called Kraft Dinner…

A nearby bark suddenly answered his prayers. He turned around swiftly to see an elderly woman holding a small, furry golden retriever. His calculating green eyes gleamed, and locked on his potential target.

This was, undoubtedly, a dog. But was it a 'hot dog'?

Ulquiorra knew from his limited experience here that the word 'hot' in the human world referred to the attractiveness of someone or something. He had learned as much when he visited the Kurosaki residence with Orihime the previous week, when Ichigo had referred to Rukia as 'hot'.

So the real question was, was this dog attractive?

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed slightly, scrutinizing the oblivious puppy. _If I were a dog, I guess I would find it attractive…_ Orihime's long red hair suddenly flashed in his mind.

_But I would prefer a nice auburn colour._

He took a short, purposeful stride towards the old lady and her dog, determination written in every step.

"Excuse me," he asked the surprised elder politely. He pointed towards her puppy, whose tail had slowed its wagging. "Where can I get one of those?"

The old woman tightened her grip on the dog, unnerved by Ulquiorra's serious emerald orbs. She was debating whether or not she should make a break for it with her cane; she assumed that Ulquiorra was some kind of delinquent.

"Hey, Ulquiorra!"

A hand suddenly clamped down on Ulquiorra's shoulder, and he turned at the all-too familiar voice.

"Grimmjow," Ulquiorra addressed the other man emotionlessly. He picked the hand off his shoulder and stared at the former sixth Espada without amusement. "Why are you here?" Grimmjow slapped him on the back, and chuckled.

"We're in a grocery store, I'm here to shop of course," he answered matter-o-factly, that ever-present crap-eating grin plastered on his face. He then peered at Ulquiorra's grocery basket curiously. "What are you buying?"

Ulquiorra held out his shopping list wordlessly, which Grimmjow snatched out of his hands with interest. Grimmjow read it over quickly, than glanced at the basket, than read it again, than glanced at the old lady with the dog standing frozen behind them, than looked at the list for a third time, before he burst into hearty laughter. Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed a little.

"Might I ask what is so amusing, Grimmjow?"

The former sixth Espada wiped his eyes appreciatively, and then ran a hand through his shocking blue hair with a highly-amused grin.

"Well for one thing, hot dogs aren't actual dogs. And what you have in your basket there isn't orange juice, it's a sports drink called Gatorade," he told him with a smirk. Ulquiorra looked down at his basket with a little disappointment. He had been so sure!

"Damn."

Grimmjow chuckled again, before leading him into one of the aisles.

"I'm in a good mood today, so I'll help you out."

At this point, you're all probably wondering where the hell Grimmjow came from, so I'll try to make this quick. Both he and Ulquiorra were the only Arrancars that agreed to begin new lives as humans in the world of the living after the defeat of Aizen. Heck, they were the only Arrancars still alive. Ulquiorra was staying with Orihime Inoue, and Grimmjow was staying at the Kurosaki's.

They still weren't fully trusted, though.

Rukia and Captain Hitsugaya were staying at the Kurosaki's as well. Rukia was more there to keep Ichigo calm and not rip Grimmjow's head off, and Toshiro was just over-protective of Karin, as much as he tried to deny it. So they had a full house. Only Rangiku was stationed at Orihime's place, but that hardly counted as she was usually out shopping or getting drunk or pissing off Toshiro by teasing him about Karin Kurosaki. Otherwise, they were slowly starting to fit in with Ichigo's little group.

With Grimmjow's surprising aid, Ulquiorra was able to get all of the right items on the list relatively quickly. He had been surprised to discover that Kraft Dinner was actually a form of pasta, and hot dogs were like a different type of sausage. It was a little unnerving receiving help from Grimmjow, but he lived with more humans, therefore he knew more about human life than Ulquiorra. They headed towards the front of Loblaws before Ulquiorra abruptly stopped, his eyes drawn to the assortment of flowers being sold next to the checkout. He had seen human males give flowers to females in the streets before as signs of affection. Suddenly, he felt the urge to get some for his own woman.

"What's the hold-up?" Grimmjow asked, following Ulquiorra's gaze. A huge, crap-eating grin made its way onto his face when he saw the flowers. "She'll like it," he told the former fourth Espada in a serious but amused voice. "I have to find Yuzu before she starts panicking, so I'll see ya later." Grimmjow gave a quick salute, and then disappeared down an aisle. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He had ditched Ichigo's younger sister in this place?

"What an idiot," Ulquiorra sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment. Opening them again, he walked over to the many flowers.

There was a lot to choose from. Different kinds, different colours, different shapes, different sizes… it was all so overwhelming. He frowned a little, wondering what to get Orihime.

She was a colourful person, her face always bright and cheery, and that was even reflected in her clothes and apartment. Even her food.

_So maybe those bright yellow daffodils?_

Ulquiorra reached out to take them, but stopped halfway.

_But wouldn't it be more special if I got her something that reminded her of myself?_

He thought long and hard, scanning the countless bouquets and pots of flowers. What should he do? It was then that a small bundle of white roses caught his eye. He gingerly picked up the bouquet and brought it to the young lady behind the counter there, who had been watching him curiously. He held it up to her.

"Do these flowers come in black?" He asked the employee seriously. She stared at him incredulously for a moment, flabbergasted at the odd question. In all her years of working, no one had ever asked that.

"Uh, no sorry," she answered hesitantly. His expression fell at that (what expression?) and his beautiful green eyes were slightly downcast. He had been so excited! Sensing his disappointment, she quickly added "But, um, we can dye the petals black if you want?"

Ulquiorra nodded, relieved that such a thing was possible. She took the bouquet from him and disappeared for a few minutes, Ulquiorra waiting patiently with one hand in his pocket, the other still holding the grocery basket. She came back with the same roses, though their petals were now jet-black in colour. The lady asked him how he would like them wrapped.

"Just a white ribbon," he answered. She tied a pretty white ribbon around the bundle of black roses neatly, grateful that she had cut off the thorns. He paid for it, then paid for his groceries, and then began the short walk home.

Yes, Orihime's apartment was his home.

Ulquiorra knocked firmly on the door, wondering if Rangiku was there. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that she wasn't when the door was opened by Orihime.

"Oh, Ulquiorra! You're back!" Her shining face spread into a huge grin, causing a small smile to appear on Ulquiorra's face. She was wearing a short, pleated yellow skirt with a light pink blouse, her long auburn hair cascading down her shoulders. He couldn't help but think that this woman was exquisite.

She pulled him inside and shut the door, and then gave him a quick hug. Ulquiorra's eyes widened a bit, but he relished in the contact. She was so warm.

"Rangiku's at Ichigo's again, and I told her we'd join them after you got back," Orihime told him happily as she let him go. Her eyes suddenly went wide and she stared at the items in his hands.

"These are for you," Ulquiorra told her quietly, holding out the small bundle of black roses. Orihime took them in surprise, her eyes instantly lighting up. She looked up at him excitedly, an adoring smile on her face.

"They're beautiful, thank you so much!" Suddenly, Orihime threw herself at Ulquiorra, causing him to drop the groceries in shock. She pressed her lips to his gently, before pulling back hastily. She put a hand behind her neck in embarrassment, chuckling awkwardly. Her cheeks were blushing a fierce shade of red.

"Eheh, sorry about that," she uttered sheepishly. Ulquiorra blinked in confusion at first, but then decided that he liked what she had just done and wanted more. He placed a hand under her chin and guided her lips back to his own. Orihime gasped in surprise as their lips met again, but slowly melted into the kiss. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist, as she tangled her hands in Ulquiorra's soft black hair. He picked her up and spun her around, causing Orihime to smile against his mouth. When they finally opened their eyes and separated, Ulquiorra lightly set her back on the ground. They gazed at each other intensely, Orihime's grin causing Ulquiorra to smile a little as well.

"Don't be sorry," he murmured in her ear. "You can do that whenever you wish." Orihime blushed violently at that, but calmed down a little when Ulquiorra gave her a small, tender kiss on the forehead. He then helped her put away the groceries and place the flowers in a vase on the table where they ate. She was chattering about a new recipe Rangiku had given her.

Suddenly, Orihime interlaced their fingers together, and she smiled warmly at the flowers sitting on the table.

"They remind me of you," she said affectionately. Ulquiorra gave himself a smug mental pat on the back, pleased with his choice. He squeezed her hand lightly.

Orihime tugged him out the door, the setting sun casting a deep, orange shadow over Karakura town. She swung their hands carelessly in between their bodies, singing a song that Ulquiorra didn't know with that big, beautiful smile on her face as they headed towards Ichigo's home. Ulquiorra felt that familiar swelling within his chest as he watched her, feeling the happiness radiating from every part of her body. He placed a hand over his collar bone again where his hole used to be, and let a real, genuine smile grace his features. His emerald eyes softened as he continued to gaze at Orihime, feeling more content than he ever had as something finally became crystal-clear to him.

_My heart is right here._

**The End.**


End file.
